Depression of a Time Lord
by The Violet Flames of Moonlight
Summary: Luxord and Axel have recently become Nobodies, and Luxord is watching Axel from afar. Depressing stress reliever, Luxord POV, random deep thoughts and feelings. Don't take it to heart, but let me know if it needs a sequel or if I should continue it or anything. K for safety. Warning: Depressing. You have been warned


**A/N: So, my boyfriend of 3 months turned around and dumped me for no reason, and even after all the things he told me he just expects us to be able to go back to being "just friends" -_- I don't understand, and he blows up in my face whenever I try to bring it up… I was feeling a bit down, but I'm a little better now. And then there's someone else, who I don't think of in that way and yet who makes it painfully obvious he likes me. It all feels like I'm in a dream or a book… So I wrote this. Luxord POV, implied Luxel, deep, boring depression. Please let me know what you think, even though it's not my greatest work…**

All around me I see the seconds ticking away, and yet for me, the clock has stopped completely. Loneliness – such a foolish thing. One who has been alone their entire life shouldn't be affected by it, and yet its sting never lessens. Of course, you need to have a heart to feel. I am the master of time, and yet I am still subject to its whims. I thought I'd learned all of time's lessons, considering I have all the time in the world, and yet, sometimes it still drops surprises.

Whoever would have known that I would have fallen for that long, red hair or those vibrant green eyes? But of course, my feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. How could they be, when he hasn't even a heart to share? Though it was not by his choice that his heart was ripped from his life as he dematerialized and returned, the facts scream at us nonetheless. He believes he has nothing left in this world but death, destruction, and physical sensations.

Though he wishes to die, the way he moves his body in combat suggests otherwise. Graceful, like a dancer, swift and agile; hurling his chakrams as though his life depended on them, yet seemingly effortless. Battling against his underlings as though they were his enemies, never holding back, yet never compromising himself; acting with skill but not tact, instinct and not the mind. It pains me to see the emptiness in his eyes when he fights as though for his life, yet without the passion of battle or heat of his flames.

All I want is to make him smile – _actually _smile, not his regular sarcastic grin. I would wipe the teardrop tattoos off his cheeks to bring him back, to give him his heart back, but my control over time refuses even to allow me to return to how things were myself. Perhaps it would work if I understood what he was like before this mess? But even I can't travel to then: it would mean unraveling both of our lives and interfering with my own past. Not only would I cease to exist, but we would never have had the opportunity to meet. We never knew of the other's existence until we arrived here, in The World that Never Was.

Most of the other members are still confused as to whether or not we still exist, or even if we are still a part of the physical realm. That man seems satisfied enough to say that we no longer live because we lack hearts, but he still displays remarkably human reactions. Unless in the midst of fight or a confrontation with the Lunar Diviner, Number VIII will often be seen grinning or with his fire in his eyes. It's rather difficult to not become bored around here, but he chooses battle and training as his means of excitement. The way he moves his body is as hypnotic as it is memorable, and though he keeps his moves unpredictable, his stances remain a constant give-away of his next attack. If only he would see that, he could work on it, become even greater than he already is. Just from the sheer obviousness of his style to a keen eye, I could defeat him in battle. Is that what it would take for him to notice me? But I'm curious as to what would happen if I did that. Would he become depressed and give up, would he be angered and train harder to defeat me, or would he just hate me? Will I just be a random, resentful part of his existence? Hmph. I simply _must_ learn to cease living in the future – I have a present that I am in, and I must obtain a solution to the problems I currently face.


End file.
